Monday, June 28, 2010

Canna-dis Day

I like living in Canada. We have more nature than we could ever explore, a reasonable extent of social equality, and given enough hard work and common sense, you can hypothetically have any Fucking thing you want. And that's why I like Canada Day. Call me a nationalist piece of brainwashed shit if you want, but our national holiday is something I respect and something I celebrate. And that's why I Fucking hate cannabis day.

As if their ignorant crusade to make Adolf Hitler's birthday an occasion for nationwide - no - worldwide annual celebration wasn't enough (Fuck, Jesus only needs one day a year to celebrate his everlasting glory, or whatever bullshit reason why he was so much better than say, the guy who discovered antibiotics), an immense cross-section of the pot-smoking populace feel as if it's their place to co-opt our national holiday so they can have public smoke ins and bask in the glory that is the green herb a mere 72 days later. And thus, their ill-conceived movement to make Canada Day into Cannabis Day. In parts further east, it's a non-event as far as I'm aware, but in Vancouver, all you have to do is get on West Georgia Street and follow your nose to bunch of fruit loops gathered on the art gallery lawn every Canada Day afternoon.

Once you arrive you will bear witness to a circle jerk that can only be compared to a game of soggy cracker involving the entire NHL. Here you can find hundreds of people who will tell you why people who commit felonies in foreign countries with full awareness that they are doing so should not have to face justice in those countries. These particular individuals will also inform you that you need not be held to your word when reaching an agreement with that countries legal entities. Others will regale you with stories of police brutality in hyperbolic tales of personal despair, others will not regale you about how they are generally combative and lack any courtesy when encountering uniformed lawmen, who may or may not be walking pieces of shit in snappy uniforms. Still others will tell you about how Canada is becoming a police state, as if we aren't one of the freest and more permissive societies in the history of mankind, with the possible exception of Sweden, which is basically a more effeminate version of Norway.

My point is this: they take a day that should be about having a good time because we are Canadian, and because of that, we can bloody have a good time if we Fucking well want to - no, Fuck that, we should have a good time, and they take over a full city block and try to make it about their own petty crusade, and talk all about how this country is a piece of shit because they aren't getting taxed on their ganja, and that's Fucking insulting not only to the people who fought for our freedom, but to the new Canadians who know what living under an oppressive and cruel government is all about. I say they should get high if they want to because really, no one gives a shit, but they ought to keep their revolutionary spirit in check for a day of pride and togetherness. Keep that shit contained to April 20, and if that doesn't cut it, then wait seven days, shoot yourself in the head and get someone to light your corpse on fire

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